My Immortal
by CarolinaBP
Summary: [One-shot] A small recollection of Kazuya's thoughts of his personal struggle with the Devil and the Angel after he meets Jun in the King of Iron Fist Tournament 2. Based on the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence.


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 **My Immortal**

I have secretly grown tired of the sameness of cruelty – in all the ways possible. My whole life has been about either experiencing, planning or causing the evil. That's the realization I've reached as I met purity for once in my life. The self-made barrier that had been in my mind since childhood days has now been silently broken, and the fears of the unconscious have taken all over my spirit – that is, if there's one left behind.

 _I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

In a better analysis, it's not about the soul that I might still have. In fact, it is about the soul that I've never had before. There have never been any reasons for it to be present in my flesh – a flesh possessed by the Devil himself.

All that my flesh needed was indeed the Devil, all I needed was the assistance he offered, for survival and revenge. He's done his part, and since then, I've been doing mine of bringing the world to destruction.

But the serenity of a certain hazel pair of eyes has done something to me. Feelings that I had never experienced before are lingering inside. Feelings that I knew that existed within the others – which I saw as nuisance – and that were nonexistent on me.

However, lately, I've been feeling them, and they're far away from being a nuisance. Maybe an annoyance, but not a nuisance. As absurd it may be, considering that I am who I am, I didn't know how much I needed those things. And they've resulted in some sort of entity – one named simply as Angel.

I don't know much about her. Probably because there isn't much to know. She keeps telling me that if I stride through another path, I may, for once and for all, finally have inner peace. From the glimpse of it, I can already tell it is all my unconscious had been secretly longing for – but it was blurred by my own thoughts of bloodlust and revenge.

She is the representation of my recently made-real soul. She looks nothing like me because nobody believes in the existence of light in me. Not even I really do, actually. But she resembles a bit the only one that has believed in it, – not in the facial features, however, but in the way she expresses her own light whenever she is around – bringing the sensation of green morning fields to this dark chamber and spirit.

Whenever Angel or Devil aren't trying to lecture me into their desires, they're deep inside of me fighting for control. I don't directly feel it, but it affects me all the time – the lack of focus, the doubts in my mind, and the pain in a heart that formerly was inexistent. I push those things aside so I can keep on doing what I need to – or what I thought I needed to. Just as deep inside, I wish _he_ would leave.

 _And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

After all these years, the side effects of my decision are still going on. But there would have never been such a choice, if there hadn't been my father's mistake firstly. The scar on my chest may have become just a dormant blemish physically, but the torment remains and has been spreading itself throughout everywhere else not only on myself, but also in the rest of the world, who has been paying for everything, as a shockwave propagation, as a viral disease.

 _These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

The Devil appears in the glass in front of me, replacing my reflection on the window of the CEO's office, which is where I hide beneath my own shadows as I watch the world crumble with… my own thoughtful numbness and emotionless passion.

Lecture to me, from whoever it would come, had always been just a bunch of nonsense blabbering. But as everything else, this also changed. Besides, a rambling that goes literally inside your mind involuntarily is not something that can be ignored.

 **I've been standing by you since your first moment of need.** He says.

 _When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years_

 **I've given you the power you've always wanted. And later on, you ended up enjoying the same destruction I do. Yet, you push me aside now, because of illustrious sensations.** _ **Power**_ **is everything you need.** I take one last look at him in the glass before he disappears. It perhaps reflects what truly is supposed to be in the mirror – the demon within.

 _But you still have all of me_

Meeting Jun was a blessing, thanks to whoever God is up in the sky, whoever God people might worship. I don't care. What I do care, though, is about her. She's the only thing – in better words, the only _one_ – that I have cared. She was so mysterious at first, but all because she was genuinely trying to help me solve out what is probably the worst problem of all time. And she didn't even know me, owe me or anything of that matter.

And even if we're yin and yang, bad and good, dark and light, we're so similar. The matureness, the determination to do what needs to be done – even when we differ in the sense of what is indeed needed –, the strength of mind and the skill of fight.

But I could not keep her around. Neither could she save me. She once said that there is always a way, but I strongly disagree. But it makes me no difference; I'm just doing what I have always been doing so far – fulfilling what there is of empty. But the emptiness she has left in me is something I have yet to fill, although I'm sure that will never happen.

 _You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you've left behind_

My pleasurable dreams of causing chaos as a sympathy for the devil now have turned into sinister nightmares. All because of _her_.

 _Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

She's gone. The purity she has left within me is the permanent reminder and the living proof of the love that I felt – that I _feel_ – for her. And if indeed there is a solution to all the problems, as she said once, this is my own struggle. And if I dragged myself into it alone, I am going to drag myself out of it also alone.

 _I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

There is no joy better than the joy you give…

 _But you still have all of me_

I still recall your last words to me. "Even if hatred is stubborn, eventually the serenity always takes over – the spirit urges for it. You might have darkness, but profoundly inside, you most definitely urge for light."

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 **Author's notes:** Hello there. Thanks for reading!  
Some expressions were purposely used to reference songs of _Tekken 2_ 's soundtrack – those being Kazuya's theme "Emotionless Passion", Devil & Angel's "Be In The Mirror" and Jun's "Morning Fields".

"The Sound of Silence", another one-shot based on the song of the same name by Simon and Garfunkel, is a non-mandatory prequel to this.


End file.
